This is Lonely Girl.

Read this first.

On a random Thursday in October, I made the decision to leave.

“I’m going to drive across the country,” I told my friend, Erin.

“I’ve always to do it,” I said, “literally nothing’s stopping me.”

One week prior, I had sold my furniture, moved out of my Oakland apartment, and put the rest of possessions in storage. My plan was to be a nomad. That’s what I told people anyway. I’d travel around California, stay at different Airbnbs, and take my time deciding where I wanted to live next.

But after a 6-month situation-ship had finally come to an end, I changed my mind, angry and desperate to leave California for good.

To me, our breakup represented my many failed attempts at dating, the rejection I felt from men, and the shame of never having a relationship or being in love.

I figured I didn’t belong in the Bay Area. It just wasn’t where I was supposed to be.

So, while the rest of the world was hunkering down, I started my great American roadtrip in the middle of the pandemic.

I had no idea where I was going. I had no destination in mind. I only knew I wanted to see leaves change color on the East Coast. That’s the story I kept telling myself, anyway.

On my first night on the road, I had mental breakdown in Reno, Nevada.

What the fuck am I doing? I thought. This is so impulsive and irresponsible.

Consumed with fear and anxiety, I feverishly texted my mom, “Is it too late to turn around?” wincing at how pathetic I sounded. Just a few hours before, I couldn’t wait to get out the door.

“You can come home, Anna,” she said. “But I don’t think that’s what you really want. I think the real question you’re trying to answer is, ‘Where do I want to belong?’”

I couldn’t answer her then, but I desperately wanted to. So, I decided to keep driving and find out.

I let my mother's question propel me across Reno, Salt Lake City, Denver, and Lincoln. And by the time I got to Chicago, I had the sudden realization that I wasn’t turning around. That this would be permanent. It was not just a road trip, but a pilgrimage, and I would not be going home.

As I documented my travels on TikTok and Instagram, thousands of people all began to wonder the same thing: Where would she end up?

My upcoming memoir, Lonely Girl, reveals that answer, and tells the story of my cross-country roadtrip and the people I met along the way. It explores what it means to act on impulse, relentlessly pursue your desires, and search for a new place to belong. It urges readers to ask themselves: What are the beliefs I hold about myself? And, how might those beliefs be stopping me from having what I truly desire?

I started this Substack to share my writing, build my platform, and publish my memoir, Lonely Girl.

My hope is that if you enjoy what you read, if it’s touched you in some way, that you’ll consider becoming a paid subscriber. Every subscription does more than you can imagine. I’m aiming to publish Lonely Girl before the end of 2024, so, thank you, truly, from the bottom of my heart.

As a token of my appreciation, paid subscribers will receive exclusive stories, tales from my heart that I've never shared before. Founding members will receive a signed copy of my book when it's available.

Thank you for joining me on this journey and helping me to bring 'Lonely Girl' into the world.

For the lonely ones,
“Take your broken heart, make it into art.”
—Carrie Fisher